Everything Is All Right
by spinningxoxo93
Summary: Caroline's world begins to fall apart in a way that no one imagined. This is a story about finding yourself, understanding reality and finding out who will stand by you no matter the circumstances. B/E/C friendship; C/M; C/D friendship C/J
1. Chapter 1

I didn't read the books so this story is based on the personalities from the tv show. For the purposes of this story Matt and Caroline are already in a relationship.

I do not own the Vampire Diaries

_My relationship with Matt has been going well. He is really sweet, kind, adorable. He is everything Damon is not. While Damon has dark hair and dark eyes, Matt has a dirty blonde hair with blue eyes. He treats me with a respect Damon never has and I truly think he cares about me. I care about him too, but I'm afraid that it won't last. What if he wakes up one morning and sees how worthless I really am? _

_I have stopped taking my medication, but I don't tell anyone. My dad is across the country with his boyfriend, my mom is never home and even when she is I can't stand her. I can't talk to Elena or Bonnie because neither of them know about it and I especially can't talk to my doctor because she would tell me I need to go back on them. I know that me being off my medication will have short and long term effects, but it's a risk I am willing to take. I hate taking my pills, I hate having my feelings controlled for me. _

_----------_

_It's been a week since I've been off my medication and everything seems normal. I am neither depressed nor excited. It's funny how being too excited can be a problem. I know it's only been a week but I'm pretty sure that if nothing changes in the first few weeks then nothing will ever change. Maybe I don't need to be on medication any longer. Maybe the doctors had it all wrong. _

_----------_

_It's been another two weeks and I feel okay. I have been better, but I have been worse. I feel a little confused and lost. I'm not sure what I want and I find myself distracted in school more often. I'm not scared of this, I am not depressed. Everyone is entitled to an off week and this is mine. _

_Elena and Bonnie say that I seem more distant, but I tell them not to worry about. They are both too occupied with their own problems to continue asking me questions, that I am thankful for. _

_Matt also says that I'm not as cheery like I normally am. I get annoyed at this because he never really knew me before so how would he know what I normally act like. We may have run in the same social circle and spoke because of Elena, but he didn't get to really know me until after my party that night. Just because I am always cheery in school doesn't mean that's the only feeling I have. I must have been bitchier then I planned because he leaves the table right after. I didn't mean to upset him and I plan to apologize later on today._

----------

I should have known there, while I was writing those entries I should have seen that it really wasn't okay. I don't know if things will ever go back to normal, but I am close to getting there. I think I now understand what it really means to be bipolar. I guess before the medication prevented me from seeing the reality of my situation, but I am now aware and not planning on going back.

Authors Note: So this is just the prologue and will be the only chapter that is written in Caroline's point of view. Everything else will probably be in 3rd person. The story will focus on Caroline and her relationships with Matt, Elena, Bonnie and Damon. I also love Jeremy so I'm definitely going to incorporate him into the story, maybe even get him and Caroline together? Please review and if you want Caroline with a specific person please tell me. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Caroline nervously knocks on Matt's door. After school she went over his house to apologize for her little outburst during lunch. Caroline has never been good at apologies and was afraid that Matt wouldn't forgive her. When she was with Damon she use to apologize to him all of the time. She was afraid that he would kill her and more importantly just flat out leave her. Her apology to Matt is different from the ones she gave to Damon, although she is still afraid of being left alone, this one is actually sincere.

Many people would not assume that Caroline's biggest fear was of being left. Considering her track record, they would actually say she prefers to be by herself. She allows guys to court her for a couple of weeks and then after finally giving in, or sometimes even before, she drops them. While people would see it as her being afraid of commitment the reality is that she believes you can never be left alone if you are always the one leaving. Damon was maybe the first guy that she continued to see. At first it might have been because he was older, attractive and dangerous. It may also have been because he was Stefan's brother, and if she couldn't have one brother, why not have the other. Towards the end she stayed with him out of fear because if she left him then that would only give him a reason to kill her sooner then planned.

The second guy she allowed herself to let in was Matt. Matt was unlike any other guy she has been with. He's not the type to sleep with a girl and be done with her. Plus, she could relate to him. Vicki leaving and his absent mother are similar to Caroline's absent father and workaholic mother. They were both left in a house, because it wasn't exactly a home, to take care of themselves and figure out their problems.

Matt opens the door, not surprised to see Caroline. What she had said at lunch was hurtful, but some of it was true and he may have overreacted. He left the table quickly and he figured that Caroline would try to apologize because she didn't exactly like when people were upset with her.

"Can I come in?" Caroline asks

"Of course," Matt says opening the door wider allowing her access in the house.

As they enter the kitchen, Matt and Caroline both simultaneously apologize.

"Can I go first?"

When Matt nods Caroline begins her apology, "I just wanted to say sorry for lunch, I was in a bad mood and I took it out on you which isn't fair. My intentions weren't to hurt you and I'm sorry that I did and it would mean a lot to me if you could forgive me."

"It's okay I forgive you, but I also wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have stormed off that quickly. I may have overreacted a bit and I didn't mean to upset you when I commented that you aren't as cheery as normal. I know that are relationship is kind of new, and before we weren't great friends so I'm still trying to get to know you. It's just that Bonnie and Elena mentioned that you seemed distant and I got worried."

"Yeah, I've kind of been having an off week"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Caroline contemplates this offer for a few seconds. Maybe Matt was the just the person she wanted to talk to, but then she remembers Vicki and everything that he has been through. Caroline really didn't want to burden him with her problems, he's had to do that enough times with his sister.

"Just some stuff with my dad, but it's no big deal. I don't really need to talk about it."

"Okay, we can watch a movie, if you would like"

"I would love to," Caroline smiles. It is times like these when she is with Matt she feels that things just might turn out okay.

**------**

It's the following Monday and Caroline doesn't show up for cheer practice. A frustrated and concerned Bonnie leads practice in Caroline's absence. A few of the cheerleaders make comments saying that a captain should never miss practice. Bonnie shuts them up by saying that Caroline left early because she fell ill.

As practice closes to an end Bonnie sees Matt waiting by the bleachers. She assumes that he doesn't know where he is, but walks up to him anyways.

"Hey, where is Caroline?"

"I don't know she didn't show up to cheer practice,"

"That's odd, she didn't mention she was leaving school early and I don't think she is the type of person to not show up to practice, or even show up late."

"Except when," Bonnie doesn't continue, figuring that Matt doesn't want to know that the one time Caroline did show up to cheer practice late was when she was with Damon.

"Except what?"

"When she is uh, sick," Bonnie lies. "Listen I'm going to go by her house, see if she needs anything. I'll text you when I get there"

"I should go with you."

"No," she practically shouts. If Caroline is with Damon, it's definitely not because she wants to. He could be controlling her again, but Matt not knowing that Damon is a vampire would assume the worst, which would only cause future problems and a very pissed of Caroline. "She hates when people see her sick, she wouldn't let you in, trust me."

"Okay, just text me as soon as you figure something out."

Bonnie nods and walks away searching for a certain vampire. Elena said that Stefan got Damon to stop messing with Caroline, but apparently he didn't. She sees him getting into his car and shouts at him to wait.

"Where is your brother?" she says once she is near enough that no one of importance would overhear.

"I'm not sure, he may be back at the house. Why?"

"You need to make him stop using his mind control on Caroline. She is trying to start a relationship with Matt and he is not helping. Once Matt finds out that Caroline runs to Damon at his very beck and call it will be the end of them and Caroline will be devastated and when she tries to explain to Matt that she can't say no to Damon he obviously won't believe her."

"I thought he stopped, but I will talk to him," Stefan says calmly

"You better do more then talk to him"

------

When Bonnie pulls into Caroline's driveway she wasn't expecting to see Caroline's car there. She assumed that she would still be with Damon. When she knocks and doesn't receive an answer she begins to get nervous. She slowly turns the knob where she learns that the door is unlocked.

"Caroline, are you here?"

No answer.

She walks up the stairs to Caroline's bedroom, "Caroline?"

She hears a mumble and some objects falling. When she opens the bedroom door she is greeted by Caroline who is in sweatpants, a white t-shirt and her bed is not made.

"Sleeping during the middle of the day instead of attending cheer practice?"

"Oh don't lecture me, it was just one stupid practice."

"One, you are the captain, you can't just skip practice without informing someone and two since when do you refer to cheerleading as stupid."

"Since it started being stupid. Oh don't look too shocked. You know just as well as I do that cheerleading is just an excuse for girls to put on fake smiles and having meaningless sex with the footballs players afterwards."

"Caroline, what is going on with you?"

"Nothing, you came in here and interrupted my sleep, so sorry if I'm not in the mood to have a heart felt conversation."

"I came over here because I was worried about you"

"Well you don't have anything to worry about it, so you can just leave"

Bonnie, who is taken back by Caroline's behavior, walks away before mumbling "fine."

**Matt, **

**Stopped by Caroline's. She's not sick, just in a bad mood. She'll probably be back to normal tomorrow **

**Bonnie :) **

--

**Bonnie, **

**I hope so, she's been acting weird lately. Isn't as cheery as normal and seems like she loosing interest in the things she once liked. Law and literature use to be one of her favorite classes and she always used to be on top of everything, now she barely participates and doesn't do her work, and now with cheerleading…."**

**Matt **

**--**

**Matt, **

**Didn't know about law and lit. I know things have been a little tense at home, her mom has been taking extra hours at work. I'll talk to Elena to see if she has noticed anything. If things don't turn around in a week then I'll talk to her again, but the best thing to do now is not upset her." **

**Bonnie :) **

**--**

**Bonnie, **

**Yeah I guess you right, thanks **

**Matt**

**--**

**Matt, **

**No problem**

**Bonnie :) **

------

Meanwhile, Caroline buries herself underneath her covers to return to her sleep. She finds herself to be restless so she gives up and turns on her itunes and takes out her journal.

_Bonnie came over today because she was "worried." She asked me what my problem is, but she should really be asking that to herself. I'm so sick of people asking me what is wrong. It's OKAY for people to have an off week where they're not up to doing everything. Why can't everybody just stop? I am fine. I am normal. There is nothing wrong with me. I can handle this. _

* * *

Authors Note: So I decided that I'm going to have at least one journal entry in the beginning or end of each chapter so you can understand what is going on in Caroline's head a bit better. Please Review!!

Next chapter: Jeremy and Caroline and maybe some Elena, because I barely mention her.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: So this is chapter 3, obviously. I hope you enjoy it. Oh, and I don't own the Vampire Diaries.

_

* * *

_

_Matt mentioned to me that I no longer seem interested in my law and lit class. I don't understand why he is so distressed by this. It's normal for people to loose interest in school work. Anyways, I decided to pick up an art class. I am doing this so everyone just leaves me alone. This way they think that I am trying new things and will stop bothering me. I think its already working. I've always use to draw when I was younger, so maybe this class will actually be interesting. I doubt it though. It starts in to weeks._

_Sometimes I feel like life is just so pointless, people pick up stupid hobbies that are supposed to make them happy, but then once you're done with college, you have to start a real job and you have to push those hobbies away and lead a boring, unhappy life. What is the point of finding things you like to do if people eventually expect you to grow out of them? _

_-----_

Caroline, who woke up late, rushes to her first period art class.

"You're late," the teacher reprimands

"Yes, I know I'm sorry, it won't--"

"Save it Ms. Forbes and take a seat."

Caroline quickly scans the rather small room to see the only empty seat is next to Jeremy, Elena's younger brother.

"Mr. Gilbert, please explain to Caroline what our first assignment is."

"Of course, Ms. Shupak"

Through all the years Caroline has been friends with Elena she never really talked to Jeremy that much. Sometimes when she would go over her house she would see him and exchange brief ten second conversations, but they never had what one would call a relationship. He always seemed a little too broody for her, even before his parents died.

"Hey," Caroline says cheerfully

"I didn't realize that you drew"

"I know not everyone would think that the cheer captain would take an interest in drawing. I'm well aware of the stereotype," she says irritated.

"I didn't mean it that way, it's just that I've never seen you draw and Elena has never mentioned it."

"There are a lot of things that Elena doesn't know about me"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you I was honestly just curious."

"Oh in that case," Caroline says instantly becoming excited and rambling on "I've always drawn, but I've never took actual classes. It was just something I did when I was home by myself, which happens to be a lot, but that's not really the point. Anyways, what about you? When did you start drawing?"

"When I was younger, I've taken a couple of classes, but I stopped for awhile."

"Well it's good that you picked it back up."

"Yeah, so the first assignment is pretty basic. She wants us to pick a piece of popcorn and then draw it. Next week we are going to have to use the same piece of popcorn to draw a picture of what we think it looks like, " Jeremy seeing that Caroline is no longer paying attention, "Caroline, are you listening?"

"Yeah, draw the popcorn I got it. Thanks Jeremy."

------

"So, Elena, you're brother is in my art class."

Elena laughs, "you take art?"

"I remember you telling me about that, how is it?" asks Bonnie.

"It's actually quite interesting."

"That's good," Elena smiles. She and Caroline don't always get along, but they have been friends for a long time. Elena has been noticing a change in Caroline's behavior and she is glad that she is getting back to her normal self. She really did not want to deal with what would have been the aftermath of Caroline's downward spiral. It's not that she wouldn't have been there for Caroline if she ever did need her help, but considering everything that is going on in her life she would prefer Caroline go back to her cheery self.

Matt watches as Caroline barely touches her food, and he once again is worried. He found it odd that Caroline went from having a loss of interest in everything back to her normal self, but with more energy and new interests. People just didn't change like that.

"Are you going to eat?" Matt asks her

"No, I had a really big breakfast," it's a lie and Caroline hopes that he believes her.

Matt is not sure whether or not he should believe Caroline, but if he questions it further it might upset her. He convinces himself that he is just paranoid and considering Caroline seems to be in a good mood he should just let things be. If he notices anything out of the normal he will talk to Bonnie, but for now he is going to try not to over think things.

-------

Jeremy has begun to take a liking to Caroline. It's not that he ever hated her, but he always found her to be annoying and bitchy. Now that they were taking art together he really got to know Caroline. He no longer views her as the stereotypical cheerleader and wishes that the whole school would see her the way he did. Caroline really opened herself up to him, which at first surprised Jeremy, but he didn't mind it. Eventually he began to open up to Caroline as well.

Caroline walked around with a confidence that she did not really have. She stepped on people and was a bitch to hide her insecurities of not being good enough. At first Jeremy found it hard to believe that a girl like Caroline could be insecure, but that was before he knew the depth of her family life. One of the reasons why she was uncomfortable leaning on a guy for support was because of the damage her father caused when he left.

Maybe the reason Caroline let herself get close to Damon because he needed her. As long as he was feeding off of her she could depend on him being there. Everything was different with Matt. Whereas Damon used Caroline when he needed her, Matt allowed her to be in a real relationship. Matt confides in her about his family life and Vicki, just like Caroline confides in him, well sort of.

As for her mother, Jeremy learned, is barely around. Caroline's mother, who lives for her job, is always working on a case. When Mrs. Forbes was home she rarely tried to make contact with her daughter and when she did it always resulted in Caroline running off upset. Her mother didn't seem to know her daughter very well. Actually, Jeremy began to think that no one new Caroline well, including herself.

In art class she seemed indecisive. You could see the erasure marks all over her paper because she constantly changes which technique she wants to use. Jeremy noticed that her indecisiveness lasted outside of the classroom as well. One day when Jeremy was next to Caroline on the lunch line she couldn't choose between a salad and pizza. Eventually, with the help of Jeremy, she decided on pizza. Caroline jokes about her not being able to make decisions saying she doesn't know what she will do once she has to choose a college and career.

While most people would have found her indecisiveness annoying, Jeremy found it adorable. He finds everything about her endearing. For example, when she would speak about something that interested her she talk a mile a minute without stopping for a breath. She tended to change the subject a lot, but he didn't mind. It's not like he was really paying attention, how could he when he found himself entranced by the way her lips parted and her tongue moved around the caverns of her mouth with every vowel. He also loved when she all of sudden would stop talking and subconsciously bite her lower lip.

-------

At first it started out as an hour a day friendship in drawing class. During this time they were allowed to speak with out boundaries. Everything that had on their mind was said in that one hour and sometimes through email. It's not they didn't want to tell anyone, it just wasn't necessary. You couldn't consider it keeping a secret because the topic of their friendship never came up in conversation.

It wasn't until a few weeks after the beginning of their initial friendship that it became "public." She was walking to her normal lunch table when she saw that Jeremy was talking to Elena.

"Hey Jeremy, I missed you in art today"

"Yeah, I had a doctors appointment so I had to come in late."

"Do you need to know what the assignment is?"

"Yes, I spoke to Mrs. Shupak and she said she would leave the door unlocked after school, but she said I needed to get the assignment from a classmate. You know how she hates--"

"Repeating herself," Caroline finishes for him

"Yep, that was actually the other reason I came here. I was wondering if you could stay after with me and explain the assignment and give me your critic like in class."

"Yeah definitely. I'll talk to the cheerleaders and move back practice a half hour and if not then Bonnie can take over the first half, right?"

"Oh, yeah sure."

"Great, just text me and Elena I'll see you at home. Bye guys,"

"I didn't realize that you and my brother got close?"

"Yeah, we sit next to each other in class. He's a cool guy."

Elena, at first, found Jeremy and Caroline's friendship random. It's not that she didn't want Jeremy to be friends with Caroline, she just did not understand what sparked this new friendship. At of all the years of them being friends Caroline never really spoke to Jeremy.

------

"Thanks again for doing this with me"

"It's not a problem Jeremy."

"So, how are things with you and Matt?"

"They're good. I really like him. He just one of those people were I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not. He's genuinely nice, different from --- well everyone else. But, I don't know, sometimes I feel like his too protective."

"Like how?"

"I feel like he watches my every move and I'm always doing something wrong, like not eating enough or getting too excited over something or too upset."

"I'm sure he's just concerned. I mean he always looked after Vicki and well you know how that turned out," he said letting his voice trail off, thinking about his ex girlfriend.

"Yeah, but I'm not Vicki. I don't do drugs." Caroline sighs. "Shit, Jeremy, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that"

"Don't worry about it."

"Okay, anyways, is there a new girl in your life?"

"There was this one girl, but she has a boyfriend."

She doesn't quite know how to respond to this so she musters a quick "oh."

------

Authors Note: I want to thank everybody who reviews and adds this story to their alerts. It means so much to me. I tried to write a bit of Elena in here, but she's not really my favorite character.

And for those who weren't able to calculate the time that has passed, I would say that it's been about 6 1/2 weeks since the first entry to the end of this chapter.

Please review!

Next chapter(s): Jeremy/Caroline, Matt/Caroline (they haven't had a lot of cute scenes as a couple), Caroline/Damon


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